Honey Bees as Honey Do

The poor little bees have got it shitty these days. Used to be that a bee could zip around from flower to flower, wiggle his bottom a bit, and fly back off with some pollen only to barf it up back at the hive.

I'm just a bee, oh I'm just a bee...
I’m just a bee, oh I’m just a bee…

And now, because people are assholes, the poor bee and our way of life, is at serious risk of completely collapsing.

Because people are assholes.

And yet, not everyone is an asshole. Europe is working tirelessly to promote beehives, Americans with brains in their heads are working on fighting Monsanto and getting neurotoxins (prevalent in their weed killers) completely banned, and there’s a resurgence of farming for no one but yourself, baby.

Say it with me, "Monsanto is a giant asshole that needs to be stopped." All together now.
Say it with me, “Monsanto is a giant asshole that needs to be stopped.” All together now.

Because bees keep us alive and make sweet, sweet, good for you honey.

Tasty tasty bee vomit
Tasty tasty bee vomit

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a huge animal-rights-tree-hugging-hippie. Save. The goddamned. Animals.

I have also been up since 0445 this morning. So there’s that. At any rate, because this is a writing blog, I have decided that honeybees (which are awesome and you should really stop using that Roundup shit) have something to do with world building.

Which I am doing.

And which they kind of do, really.

Honeybees live in their own little world created out of wax and organized into a hexagonal pattern.

Because bees are math geniuses.
Because bees are math geniuses.

In there they live with a bunch of other drones and the baby making Queen. She has the brain, the others just go with it. Because why not? Who really wants to think about the intricacies of gathering pollen and then coming home to a bitching brother drone. I mean really, Billy will bitch for days if you let him. Bees create this little world without really giving it much thought. The Queen needs a home to raise the next generation of worker drones, so they build one for her and she does the kindness of not eating them afterward. Or eating them at all.

Bitches gotta eat.
Bitches gotta eat.

Humans, on the other hand, we’re just complicated. You ever try creating a world out of thin air? Not as easy as GRRM makes it seem in those damn books of his.

People are complicated. We’re greedy creatures who want things just because the other guy has what we don’t have. We invade new places and slaughter old people because we can, and again, they have something we don’t have and we really want it because we’re bigger than them, so there. We start wars over stupid shit with complex justifications, argue because we think we’re right when we’re wrong, and practically ruin everything we touch because we’re either too willfully stupid ignorant or misinformed, and we cling to traditions we should have given up years ago. Because that’s how we do.

World building doesn’t have to be complicated. Think about the bees. Bees are not complicated. They get up in the morning, do their job all day, and then go back to the hive to chill out and maybe watch some BEEB. Because bees are cultured like that.

Bet you thought I was gonna put something Justin Beiber related up, didn't you?
Bet you thought I was gonna put something Justin Beiber related up, didn’t you?

When you place the honeycomb scenario on man, the situation becomes much simpler. A Queen or King (because we don’t discriminate on your monarchy choices here at Accessories Not Included) wants something, so those that are controlled are sent to go get it. When you understand the wants of man, it’s a matter of putting things man wants far away from him and standing up obstacles to get in his way and piss him off.

This is also called plot, kiddies.

Things become complicated when you start giving the worker bees peonsĀ subjects personalities.

Murder happens for less.