So, all the cool writers have it. And, really, who doesn’t want to be a cool writer? It’s kinda neat to have every question asked answered in one place, and I like to keep all of my little (no GMO!) duckies in a row. Maybe these questions haven’t been asked and maybe they have. Maybe I’m channeling my inner Doctor and answering before the fact, either way, below are some of the questions I have gotten in my short time being a writer/reviewer.
Q. Will you review my book/short story/novella?
A. Yes! Yes I will! I love finding new authors and I enjoy reading very, very much. Here’s the kicker, though. Unless you give me a fixed, immediate deadline do not expect an immediate return on investment. That isn’t to say I won’t read your material. I will. I most definitely will. I’ve agreed to it, of course I will. But unless you need my opinion right this second, you’re gonna have to wait a while.
A. Lookie here, as much as I would love to be a full time writer/reviewer (and I would, I really, really would) I can’t. What I am, is a college student, a daughter who tries to spend as much time with my folks as I can, and hopefully soon, I will be gainfully employed. I have my own books that I’m trying to write and edit, and there are writing group obligations. Writing is not all I do, either. I draw, and with that comes commissions that need to be met. Your best bet (if you want a review quickly) is to give me a reasonable deadline from date of email. I am capable, and I will drop my projects to ensure that I meet your deadline. Contrariwise, if you have not given me a deadline and do not hear from me, I don’t mind the email asking if I dropped off the face of the planet. Chances are, I have not, I have just been tied up with something or other. Or a tornado/severe thunderstorm/hailstorm has gone through Oklahoma and my internet has been adversely affected. While I do not mind one email asking what happened to me, I start to take an issue when I am pestered. Two e-mails is my limit. Three is when I put your work to the very back of my shelves***.
(***R.J.’s hint: give me a deadline, it works out better for all of us.)
Q. Can I commission you for a book cover/character sketch?
A. Not right now, no. When I get a schedule sorted out and my life relatively manageable, I will open up the blog for commission requests. Which will include items available and pricing.
Q. Will you read my novel/novella/short story?
A. Is it for review? If so, see question one.
Q. Will you edit my novel/novella/short story?
Q. But I want to get published! And I need as much help as I can get!
A. So do I, believe me. My answer is still no. Not that I don’t like you or anything, I’m just not going to get sued. I’m sure you’re a great person and your story idea is awesome and your novel kicks ass, but I am not about to wind up in court by some happenstance that my book might sound like yours and I was not paid to edit your book so therefore I must have stolen your amazeballs idea. Sorry, lawyers are expensive and I am a college student.
Q. Do you actually answer your emails?
A. Yes I do. But it has to have something in the subject matter relevant to what you want. If it’s blank or looks like spam, I get rid of it. I have delete happy fingers.
Have a question that hasn’t been asked? Need to know something about me that will (inevitably) be put up for all the world to see? email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will do my best!