Hey, I just met you

and this is crazy. But I think I love you. So call me, maybe?
If you didn’t assume that was coming at some point or another, you don’t know me very well and I am sorely disappointed in you. Now go and sit in the corner until I decide you can come out and face the world again.

All right, you can come out now. I need someone to talk too and this whole corner thing ain’t working for me.
I’ve never had much luck in the relationship front. Oh sure, I’ve had them. Plenty of them. But they all ended, some of them worse than others, but they all ended.
Some I was able to get over quickly, others not so much. I did end up getting over them, though, asking the same question: what the hell is wrong with me?
And don’t give me ‘if it was meant to be’ crap. If it was ‘meant to be’, we wouldn’t have to work on relationships, things would just fall into place and every one would get their happy endings.
Kind of like how Disney and any rom-com ever would have us believe.



Well, maybe not. Movies are shortened versions of reality. Kind of. Someone’s reality. Shut up.
People are going to fall in love in a short amount of time because, well, a movie can’t really take the time or the detail to explain the intricacies of falling in (and out of) love. Acts I, II, and III are all they get to tell a love story. A book, on the other hand, can take longer to divulge, but is still under the same sort of restrictions.
Two characters gotta fall in love. Okay, how? Why? So on and so forth.
Here’s where the author comes in. The author makes the magic happen. A character looks a certain way, he’s dark and mysterious, she’s the klutz who might be kind of pretty. The stars align and voila! Love story.
Okay, great, but how?
Why do the characters fall in love? What is the REASON behind it? Is it the physical appearance or is there more?
I’ve noticed the same things with movies. And romance novels. Maybe some teen novels. The two characters who are supposed to end up together fight a lot, but there’s a look when the other isn’t looking, the touch of a hand, the way he pulls on his hair. Blah, blah, blah. Then (and here Disney excels) there’s a huge emotional upheaval where the two main characters test their true feelings for each other, and by the end they are reunited and YAY happily ever after.
Is this just wishful thinking, or does it really work like that?
Does real life reflect fantasy?
For many authors it does. I suppose there is a reason none of my main characters have ANY luck in love. From Untitled to Melanie, Grimmauld to Molly they’re all sort of losers in that front. Well, maybe not losers. Some come out the winner.
Maybe I just think about it too much.
I try to give myself signs I should look for if I should ever fall in love. What will it feel like? Will it be an all-encompassing feeling?
People say ‘oh honey, you’ll know when you fall in love’. Mind you this is said with a knowing look and a wide, shit eating smile, as if they’re the keeper of the secrets of the world and deciding that you’re worthy enough IN THAT MOMENT to be let in on one of the biggest.
But do you really? DO you know when you’ve fallen in love or is it just a giant guessing game?
I’ve been wrong before. I don’t like being wrong twice. Thrice and the whole thing can bite the big one.
Are we as authors pretending on the page? Do we imagine the feelings of love to give our readers something to relate to, to understand when they read it? These two characters are in love, we say, and here’s how they feel about it.
Then again, who cares why anyone falls in love?
(I want to find out what happens next!)
What matters is the work done to keep it going. Right?
(Where the hell are the zombie battles? I was promised ZOMBEEEES!)
Never mind that the entire institution is absolutely ridiculous. The dating scene is nothing more than a ‘try out’ period where two people find out if they’re compatible. If so, yay! If not, well I suppose that’s how Taylor Swift makes all of her money.
Some people call it fun-they date because it’s a good time-I call it some kind of crazy. Who the hell wants to go through the emotional pain of realising the person they gave their heart to decided they didn’t want it any more and gave it back?
That’s like walking out into the road and giving traffic a big hug.


Or maybe a tiger. I’ll go with tiger since Google is not as awesome as I thought it was.


And yet, despite my logical side railing against me, pointing out everything that is wrong, it would still be nice to have a love story of my own.
Be nice to fall in love and have it reciprocated. Even just a little.
And why not?
The love story keeps us going. We want to find out what happens to characters we gave our hearts to, have come to care about. In a way, we as the reader, have fallen in love with a figment of someone else’s imagination.
Crazy, huh?
So, my fellow writers, let me ask you something.
How do you make your characters fall in love? Is there a secret to it? Do you imagine what it will feel like when the stars align for two souls or do you draw on your own experience?


12 thoughts on “Hey, I just met you

  1. I have to say that when my characters find love I feel it so deeply that I sort of fall in love with their love. I am not a romance writer per se but a touch of love adds so much to everything! This was a really fun post!

    1. It’s the same for me, I think. It’s weird, I know how THEY feel when they find love. Myself? Too many questions and so few answers.
      I’m glad you had fun!

      1. Maybe we fall under the category of ‘Hopeless Romantics”…..I think I fell in love with my husband of 20+ years again this morning…hopeless romantic or a touch of Alzheimer……

  2. When I’ve written characters falling in love, it’s because they’re comptable personalities to start. They meet, don’t hate each other, can work together and have conversations without getting pissy and just butting heads constantly with no leeway in anything.

    But the LOVE comes from trials they endure together that knit them closer together.

  3. The reason it is happily ever after is pure entertainment and escapism. If we write reality we meet, fall in love–and at times no big theatrical type thing because the theatrics are the only way to make love tangible in our minds. Then we fantasize about happily every after. When our own relationship cracks and falls into a million pieces, we buy things to make it better or take classes or whatever, but the whole idea is–we spend money to fix it. And so, the real reason now, that they have happily ever after is called “Marketing.”

    Henry Fonda said it best about love in the movie “Yours, Mine, and Ours, Love isn’t about going to bed with someone, it’s about getting up the next day and going through the problems.”

    So often we ask, what is wrong with us? Nothing, it’s that we’re all looking for something, however, whatever we’re looking for won’t make us whole and won’t fix us. We end up looking to solve an issue we don’t like about ourselves.

    You, as you know, are a great and wonderful person. Bry’s mom told me about meeting her husband. And their life isn’t anything that would say happily every after because they’ve had lots of bumps. However, they have love.

    Wow, what a long soap box. I like your writing though. See ya.

    1. I don’t mind the soapbox. You’re absolutely right, it’s not about the good times. It’s about embracing the bad and working past it. Love is continuous and changing. When it breaks, there’s the tragedy.

  4. I am a hopeless romantinc…If I were not married and so in love with my hubby…I would be in love with the the guy I missed before I met…love that song by the way…seriously though…falling in love happens in different ways.
    For me it was a feeling upon introuduction. I was introduced to my hubby via a mutal friend, we said hi, shared names and then a twing, I guess you could call it. He stuck with me…then later, when we bumped into each other again… and hung out, the simple act of touching his hand sent a spark (the innocent one, ok!) and after that, our first kiss…well he wasn’t the first boy I kissed, but he was the first that made my heart go pitter pat.
    That sealed the deal…call me a crazy hopeless romantic…now for the reality…changing always has it down perfectly…it is about getting up the next day with you partner and working through the rough patches…that is love.

    Movies and fiction may be exaggerated and always having that happily ever after gaga (not the lady), but we still watch and read them because I would like to think we are all still crazy hopeless romantics! Maybe happily ever after doesn’t always happen in the real world, but it’s pretty much guaranteed in the world inside our minds, unless we’ve already changed our mind :0)

    1. I’m a hopeless romantic too, always have been I suppose. That’s why I like the fairy tales so much, I think. The everything falls into place moment is really appealing-there’s no work involved. It’s just supposed to happen, right?
      Ah, if only.
      But real life can be its own sort of fairy tale. It just depends on how hard you’re willing to work for it.
      Besides, there’s a fun in fairy tales, telling the darker side. What happens after the carriage rolls away and Cinderella realises she has no idea who her husband is.
      Ooh! Hey! Aw, has that been done? If it hasn’t, dibs! I called dibs!!

  5. Forever the hopeless romantic and lover of romance for as long as I can remember, I have to say for my characters it’s a little of both. My own experiences or moments and their own path once my character comes alive.

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