Because finals are eating my soul…

And I needed the laugh. Direct from my Management class.


Thanks to the faculty trainer at UIU for the following:


This should make you feel better about making computer mistakes.


Technologically Challenged

Customer: I’m trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn’t work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you’ve got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah….
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven’t got a computer. It’s in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen…..
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on start for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates, damn it!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work!

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a, as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can’t get on the internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

And last but not least:

Tech support: “Okay Jim, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Jim.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Jim.



15 thoughts on “Because finals are eating my soul…

  1. bubbe says:

    I love tech support humor. When I find a new one I usually forward it to our local help desk folks; they can use a laugh if anyone can!

  2. bubbe says:

    RJ – WordPress tech question – if you copy and paste text into a new post form, how do you keep your original formatting? I keep getting extra lines and I’m about to pull out my hair! If you can help with this great, but if not I guess I should break down and go search the WP forums or whatever. Sigh.

    1. rjkeith says:

      Yeah, it is a pain in the neck. I’ve found that it happens to me a lot! I’ve found that going through and deleting the extra lines helps to keep the formatting. Or, if that doesn’t work, try copying and pasting into Word (or Pages, if MAC is your processor) and fixing it from there. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what to do. Sorry I can’t be more help!

      1. bubbe says:

        I have the answer!!! When typing a line that needs to break without a double space after it, instead of hitting enter, hit shift + enter! Works like a charm! Gotta love the Word Press forums 😉

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